In about three months I will have been married for three years. This is no small feat but sounds like nothing compared to the forty plus years I hope that we have together. These last three years have changed me. Some obvious ways: I share everything with someone a bed, a bank account and a car. I have a new name, new dreams, new dogs and a new outlook.
Marriage has changed me in more subtle ways as well I have learned that I am selfish, evil and impatient. I have seen that when pressure and disappointment enter my life I want nothing more than to be left alone to deal with things by myself. To isolate and push back at Devin even sometimes being angry at him for my own hurt. This doesn’t work when there is someone else there who wants nothing more than to help, understand and support. I have had to let go of the desire to protect myself from everything this world can throw at me. I have to choose to join Team Chapman everyday.
It is this choice and the participation that has delivered me on this the 31st of May, 2011 this “Aha Moment”: Intimacy is many things, today it is the idea that I cannot imagine my life without my Husband. This might sound simple and perhaps something people feel in small doses throughout all committed relationships but for a person who has marked their life on independence this is HUGE. The thought alone brings tears, we are us, we are two people who have chosen one life.
So here’s to Devin thanks for being someone I can truly trust and rely on.
